Stop Being Too Nice!

See, my problem was that I was too nice.

“Too nice? How is that possible?”  you might ask.

Before you write me off as a jerk, let me explain to you that many people are suffering from the too nice syndrome.

I used to give and give of myself to other people with the expectation that these people would be able to see my good intentions. I was under the impression that everyone’s heart was like mine.

This is not the case and I had to learn that through experience.

Because I tend to be on the selfless side, often times I attract associates who are more into themselves than anything else. I used to be so giving that others saw this as a way to take advantage of/stay stagnant in a relationship.

I would sacrifice time and my emotions for these people and when it came time for them to do the same, they didn’t. The thing that kept me in these “friendships” is the very thing that kept my mother in an emotionally abusive relationship and it keeps physically abusive relationships alive.

It’s the thought that the person will change.

“Oh maybe he didn’t see me hurting. Maybe she didn’t see how it affected me. Maybe next time they’ll be there for me the way I was there for them.”

No. No. No. No.

If they see how you sacrifice yourself for them, but won’t reciprocate, then they DO NOT care about you. A grasping of this concept will prevent you from entering into draining relationships and it will help you recognize red flags in people before things get too serious.

There’s also an obligation factor that plays along into these types of relationships. Because you were raised correctly or have good morals, often times you will feel like you are required to do as much as you can for this person just because.

There is a difference between being moral and being suicidal. Throwing yourself on the line repeatedly for someone who isn’t even acknowledging your efforts is only detrimental to your emotional health and mental stability.

Removing yourself from a destructive relationship does not make you a bad person. It makes you a smart one.

I’m saying all this to say: Be nice, but don’t exhaust your emotions, time, and health over someone who wouldn’t do the same for you. Relationships aren’t 50/50…they’re 100/100 and If you’re the only one putting in 100 percent, then something is terribly wrong.

"You're Gay!" I Know Hoe!

Who told your busted, rusted, crusted and disgusted blimp-built ass that you were allowed to speak? 

Your dad's absent and your mother is out on the corner trying to support you and her 20 other kids...so I don't know who spoke to you and gave you authority to open your Venus fly trap of a mouth.

I'm going to overlook the fact that you are serving Egypt teas: your face is built strong like the pyramids and your body odor is smelling like the inside of a sarcophagus. 

I'm going to overlook the fact that your face is as impressive as Khia's list of endorsement deals.

But the fact that your monkey bars built ass keeps telling people "You're gay" as if they didn't know that before you opened you cum-stained mouth is quite disheartening.

Why are you--a grown man--sitting over here looking at how gay people act/are instead of looking for the sushi, pier-smelling, camel-inspired vagina that you usually end up licking because that's the best you can get.

You claim to be straight and yet you're looking at gay men harder than your mother looked for the morning after pill.

How is it that your lips have dandruff? Drier than your inbox.

How is it that your body is built like math class? Shaped like absolute value bars.

How is it that your face is looking like a deep sea expedition? Don't have to dive too far to get to that Mariana Trench.

As you can see, you have more things to worry about than the gayness of others.

Once you stop looking like an E.T. who couldn't even phone home because he couldn't afford to make the call, then you can continue to speak.

But for now you can close your mouth in the same fashion as the doors to Keyshia's Cole's career have been closed.